Tag Archives: Sandwich

10 concise ways to make a feminist shriek in agony

  1. Ask a feminist woman to make you a sandwich. Nothing will raise her temper quicker than this simple request. If things get heated, you can always tell the lady how being in the kitchen will help develop her creative side and get her a higher number of marriage proposals.
  2. Start dating a girl who works at Subway. She will have to make you a sandwich with a big smile on her face when you visit the restaurant every day. To hit the nail on the head, take a feminist friend along with you.
  3. When a feminist asks you for a stopwatch, act surprised and ask them what went wrong with the timer on the microwave oven.
  4. Use the word ‘patriarchy’ every once a while. Act offended when a feminist asks you not to use the word and remind them of your right to express yourself.
  5. Ask a feminist how they plan on bringing about change in the societal status quo. Once they start elaborating enthusiastically, cut them off by saying it was a trick question and how the only change women can bring about is in the condition of the kitchen.
  6. Ask a feminist whether they want to hear a joke. When they reply in the affirmative, say “change”. When they respond with “I don’t get it”, reply with “exactly” and walk away with a smirk on your face.
  7. When in an elevator with a feminist, make sure you allow the women to leave first when the doors open and tell the feminist afterwards how you are proud of yourself for upholding women’s rights.
  8. Tell a feminist you will do the dishes if they make you a sandwich. If they make you a sandwich in the hope that you will fulfil your end of the bargain, tell them washing dishes is not a man’s job. If they don’t make you the sandwich, you would still have outraged them with your proposal. Win-win situation either way.
  9. When a feminist tells you men who say women belong in the kitchen don’t know what to do with them in the bedroom, reply by pointing out a sandwich always tastes good after strenuous exertions.
  10. Tell a feminist gender equality should work both ways which is why men should stay at home while women go out and earn a living to sustain the household. If this does not throw the feminist into a wild fit of rage, you have either followed instructions incorrectly or decided that the implications of making this remark out loud might be disastrous.
  11. Tell the feminist they scream like a woman when your mission has been accomplished (promised 10, delivered 11).

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